Long Time Coming
Warning: Long post, no pictures... also, sorry, this post is mostly vague with a lot of "you" and "someone" and "them" and "they" and "people"... it's the best I can do.
I've been thinking about this for a while... So long, actually, that I've worked on this post more than once or twice. I've even composed versions in my head as I fall asleep at night. Brad and I talk about it a lot.
I've encountered many, many people who pride themselves on their open-mindedness. Let me just say:
Open-minded is not a synonym for liberal. I know lots of people feel this way. I think really they just don't think about it, but it's... something along the lines of "because I hold progressive beliefs" or "because I'm not tied to the 'old way'" or "because I'm open to new lifestyles" ... I'm open-minded.
But these same people who pride themselves on their open-mindedness are upset, angry, even enraged and unwilling to continue a conversation, when others, who happen to hold a different view than them, make their voices heard.
Now let me just say, before I go any further, that I actually hold pretty "liberal" views on some current "hot topics," although I don't really like the "liberal" label and am not affiliated with a political party. But specific issues are not my point. Also, I have friends who fit into all different spots on the faith and political spectrums.
Open-minded means (in my definition, which I think is pretty darn good) that you listen to others who hold views/opinions/beliefs that are different from yours, without trying to convince them that you are right and they are wrong... not only that. You listen completely void of a right/wrong mindset. It doesn't even cross your mind that she is wrong and he is right. You are willing to hear others out, because you want to hear what they have to say and understand their point of view, rather than listening so you can refute all their points. You don't judge them on their beliefs.
Of course, you don't have to agree with everyone. Obviously. (It all goes back to that book I read this summer: You Don't Have to be Wrong for Me to be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism by Brad Hirschfield. (Read an earlier post about it here!))
If someone doesn't believe the same thing as you, you don't immediately dismiss them or get angry about it. You don't think less of them because they don't agree with you. That would be a little immature, don't you think?
You can be open-minded and liberal. True. But you can also be open-minded and conservative, moderate, Republican, Democrat, Independent, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, and so on and so forth.
At Bethel, there is a class called Basic Issues of Faith and Life (BIFL). Every single senior has to take BIFL. You can't graduate otherwise. Many people do not care for BIFL. However, it ranked in my top 3 classes of all-time (well, of my undergraduate education).
BIFL classes are carefully selected, comprised of students from different backgrounds and majors and faiths. At least, they were when I took it; I've heard differently lately. Because of this, you don't get to choose your professor. And I'll admit, I lucked out with that one... Patty Shelly.
Anyway, like I said, the class itself is made up of a diverse group. And we're talking about a very personal, often emotional, issue - faith from 1-3 p.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays. Honestly, to me it was really interesting to hear different reactions to the books we were reading, some of which hit very close to home for me. (Plus we read Flannery O'Connor, who is plain amazing when it comes to religious symbolism!) During this class, I first started thinking about what "open-minded" really is.
Yes, there were times when it became frustrating. Not because of what other people believed, but because of how they recited those beliefs to the class. Truly in their heart of hearts, they believed that they had the Truth, the one and only with a capital T, Truth. It offended me, and I realized what it really looks like to be open-minded, and how self-centered it is to not be... Everyone deserves my respect. Why not?
I grew up in a place where the roots of our faith are generations-deep. My ancestors came to Kansas in 1874 because of their faith (and free land - we are Mennos, after all!), and I grew up in the church where my father and his father and his father and his father grew up, and generations before them. And over the course of my first three years at Bethel, I spent a lot of time reflecting, reading, searching, and praying, owning my own version of that faith.
Some days BIFL was a pretty charged two hours.
I learned a lot in that class about being open-minded, mostly because sometimes I felt as though my views were being attacked. It hurt that others thought I was wrong, without even listening to what I had to say, just because it wasn't what they thought.
I don't like being preached to. I don't like people who try to convince me (or anyone else, for that matter) that I am wrong. Does anyone? So I try hard not to do that. After all, it doesn't hurt me to be open-minded. Seriously - I've tried it and no pain comes from it.
I've been thinking about this for a while... So long, actually, that I've worked on this post more than once or twice. I've even composed versions in my head as I fall asleep at night. Brad and I talk about it a lot.
I've encountered many, many people who pride themselves on their open-mindedness. Let me just say:
Open-minded is not a synonym for liberal. I know lots of people feel this way. I think really they just don't think about it, but it's... something along the lines of "because I hold progressive beliefs" or "because I'm not tied to the 'old way'" or "because I'm open to new lifestyles" ... I'm open-minded.
But these same people who pride themselves on their open-mindedness are upset, angry, even enraged and unwilling to continue a conversation, when others, who happen to hold a different view than them, make their voices heard.
Now let me just say, before I go any further, that I actually hold pretty "liberal" views on some current "hot topics," although I don't really like the "liberal" label and am not affiliated with a political party. But specific issues are not my point. Also, I have friends who fit into all different spots on the faith and political spectrums.
Open-minded means (in my definition, which I think is pretty darn good) that you listen to others who hold views/opinions/beliefs that are different from yours, without trying to convince them that you are right and they are wrong... not only that. You listen completely void of a right/wrong mindset. It doesn't even cross your mind that she is wrong and he is right. You are willing to hear others out, because you want to hear what they have to say and understand their point of view, rather than listening so you can refute all their points. You don't judge them on their beliefs.
Of course, you don't have to agree with everyone. Obviously. (It all goes back to that book I read this summer: You Don't Have to be Wrong for Me to be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism by Brad Hirschfield. (Read an earlier post about it here!))
If someone doesn't believe the same thing as you, you don't immediately dismiss them or get angry about it. You don't think less of them because they don't agree with you. That would be a little immature, don't you think?
You can be open-minded and liberal. True. But you can also be open-minded and conservative, moderate, Republican, Democrat, Independent, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, and so on and so forth.
At Bethel, there is a class called Basic Issues of Faith and Life (BIFL). Every single senior has to take BIFL. You can't graduate otherwise. Many people do not care for BIFL. However, it ranked in my top 3 classes of all-time (well, of my undergraduate education).
BIFL classes are carefully selected, comprised of students from different backgrounds and majors and faiths. At least, they were when I took it; I've heard differently lately. Because of this, you don't get to choose your professor. And I'll admit, I lucked out with that one... Patty Shelly.
Anyway, like I said, the class itself is made up of a diverse group. And we're talking about a very personal, often emotional, issue - faith from 1-3 p.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays. Honestly, to me it was really interesting to hear different reactions to the books we were reading, some of which hit very close to home for me. (Plus we read Flannery O'Connor, who is plain amazing when it comes to religious symbolism!) During this class, I first started thinking about what "open-minded" really is.
Yes, there were times when it became frustrating. Not because of what other people believed, but because of how they recited those beliefs to the class. Truly in their heart of hearts, they believed that they had the Truth, the one and only with a capital T, Truth. It offended me, and I realized what it really looks like to be open-minded, and how self-centered it is to not be... Everyone deserves my respect. Why not?
I grew up in a place where the roots of our faith are generations-deep. My ancestors came to Kansas in 1874 because of their faith (and free land - we are Mennos, after all!), and I grew up in the church where my father and his father and his father and his father grew up, and generations before them. And over the course of my first three years at Bethel, I spent a lot of time reflecting, reading, searching, and praying, owning my own version of that faith.
Some days BIFL was a pretty charged two hours.
I learned a lot in that class about being open-minded, mostly because sometimes I felt as though my views were being attacked. It hurt that others thought I was wrong, without even listening to what I had to say, just because it wasn't what they thought.
I don't like being preached to. I don't like people who try to convince me (or anyone else, for that matter) that I am wrong. Does anyone? So I try hard not to do that. After all, it doesn't hurt me to be open-minded. Seriously - I've tried it and no pain comes from it.
Amazing and thoughtful and accurate and....
ReplyDeleteIs there a way to teach this in public schools - because I try, but I don't know that it works. Did it work in BIFL? Did anyone actually change the way they viewed the world?
Can you imagine a world where we actually accept/embrace differences!! Wow.