Mixed Emotions
Today was the first day with my new kids. Right now, it's difficult for me to qualify.
Since it was the first day of middle school, kids had activities in the morning and a shortened class schedule in the afternoon. I feel two as though there were two distinct and separate days.
This morning was hard; it's really the part that's been tough for me to process. Our IBB (Interest Based Bargaining - they negotiate our contract with the board) team spent last night working with the board and a federal mediator to try to reach an agreement that we can vote on. I actually went to part of the meeting - mostly both parties met in different rooms, but our IBB team would come out and consult us when they had a proposal or the board responded. I'm glad I went; I learned a lot and felt like my opinion mattered. Classified staff and administration settled their contracts a while ago. They reached an agreement last night. (I don't feel comfortable going into detail here, but you can call me if you want to know.) I have no idea how I really feel about it, or how I'm going to vote.
I know that there are big budget issues right now. I know that it's tough for everybody. I know I should be grateful to have a job. I know that, at some point, we all need to bite the bullet. I get that. I promise I do. But in my heart, I can't shake the feeling that sometimes things are just so, so unjust. Every single day I pour my heart out into 65 11- and 12-year-olds. Yes, the rewards there are enough for me. It's enough for me to look at the file I have (half at home and half at school) of notes and cards and signs from my one year - so far - of students. It's enough when they smile at my cheesy jokes. It's enough for me to spend a few minutes laughing at the silly sayings in my book of kid quotes. It's more than enough when they "get it" or do well on their state assessments.
Maybe I just need to remember that. I think I may have lost my point somewhere in that last paragraph. That, or it's implied.
On my school e-mail signature, I have a quote: "Teachers touch eternity; they never know where their influence stops." (Henry Adams)
The second part of the day...
Oh kids! I love them already. Surprisingly, I'm doing surprisingly well with names already (maybe because I've written them, typed them several times, and made a spreadsheet with fifth grade assessment scores for each indicator... so I've seen them a time or two). They were well-behaved for the first day of school. I can't say yet how they will be, but that doesn't matter. I had fun today.
For a few hours I forgot about it all. Sure, I was a little distracted, but once the kids came everything else disappeared. I lost myself in the joy of my job. I am a teacher. That's what I am meant to do.
A story:
I was explaining how wonderful these kids have it, how lucky they are... (1. because we have LA block, so they have it for two class periods, and 2. I've heard I'm a fun teacher) when a student, who happened to be wearing a spandex book cover on her head, blurted out, "Could you just get to the point?!"
Usually I don't think too quickly in such situations, but fortunately today I wasn't feeling carefree enough to take that.
"No. Not if you're going to interrupt me."
I wish I had a picture of her classmates' eyes at that very moment. She was pretty quiet after that.
Also, I came home and found two handfuls of beautiful cherry tomatoes ready for me to eat. There is a roast with carrots and potatoes in the crock pot. And my husband loves me. How can today be bad?!
Since it was the first day of middle school, kids had activities in the morning and a shortened class schedule in the afternoon. I feel two as though there were two distinct and separate days.
This morning was hard; it's really the part that's been tough for me to process. Our IBB (Interest Based Bargaining - they negotiate our contract with the board) team spent last night working with the board and a federal mediator to try to reach an agreement that we can vote on. I actually went to part of the meeting - mostly both parties met in different rooms, but our IBB team would come out and consult us when they had a proposal or the board responded. I'm glad I went; I learned a lot and felt like my opinion mattered. Classified staff and administration settled their contracts a while ago. They reached an agreement last night. (I don't feel comfortable going into detail here, but you can call me if you want to know.) I have no idea how I really feel about it, or how I'm going to vote.
I know that there are big budget issues right now. I know that it's tough for everybody. I know I should be grateful to have a job. I know that, at some point, we all need to bite the bullet. I get that. I promise I do. But in my heart, I can't shake the feeling that sometimes things are just so, so unjust. Every single day I pour my heart out into 65 11- and 12-year-olds. Yes, the rewards there are enough for me. It's enough for me to look at the file I have (half at home and half at school) of notes and cards and signs from my one year - so far - of students. It's enough when they smile at my cheesy jokes. It's enough for me to spend a few minutes laughing at the silly sayings in my book of kid quotes. It's more than enough when they "get it" or do well on their state assessments.
Maybe I just need to remember that. I think I may have lost my point somewhere in that last paragraph. That, or it's implied.
On my school e-mail signature, I have a quote: "Teachers touch eternity; they never know where their influence stops." (Henry Adams)
The second part of the day...
Oh kids! I love them already. Surprisingly, I'm doing surprisingly well with names already (maybe because I've written them, typed them several times, and made a spreadsheet with fifth grade assessment scores for each indicator... so I've seen them a time or two). They were well-behaved for the first day of school. I can't say yet how they will be, but that doesn't matter. I had fun today.
For a few hours I forgot about it all. Sure, I was a little distracted, but once the kids came everything else disappeared. I lost myself in the joy of my job. I am a teacher. That's what I am meant to do.
A story:
I was explaining how wonderful these kids have it, how lucky they are... (1. because we have LA block, so they have it for two class periods, and 2. I've heard I'm a fun teacher) when a student, who happened to be wearing a spandex book cover on her head, blurted out, "Could you just get to the point?!"
Usually I don't think too quickly in such situations, but fortunately today I wasn't feeling carefree enough to take that.
"No. Not if you're going to interrupt me."
I wish I had a picture of her classmates' eyes at that very moment. She was pretty quiet after that.
Also, I came home and found two handfuls of beautiful cherry tomatoes ready for me to eat. There is a roast with carrots and potatoes in the crock pot. And my husband loves me. How can today be bad?!
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