*sigh*
Do you really want to hear it today? I'm sure the honest answer is "absolutely not, Megan, we're sick of your whining. You could be a lot worse off..."
And I know I could. I think of that reality every single day. And I am grateful to be healthy and have a job/paycheck/insurance for the next few months and a supportive family and a fantastic husband.... and so on and so forth.
But this is your fair warning. You don't have to read it; I just need to get it out. After all, I'm not going to drive to your house and hogtie you to the computer chair (aside from the fact that I don't actually know what hogtying entails, I am not sure I have the funds to travel to everyone's spot in the world, though I would like to see each of you). I'll even throw a random picture of our "new" wind chimes from the farm in there to let you consider your options for a moment...
I have never liked roller coasters. They actually rank right underneath "caves" on the list of not-cool-vacation-ideas-that-my-family-seems-to-love. There's the whole motion sickness part of my world, evident right now in the fact that, every time I step off a track bus, I feel queasy. Plus, I have (along with my sisters, apparently) a fear of heights. But really, I don't like roller coasters because they are scary. Unpredictable. Uncontrollable.
My life has felt like that lately - unpredictable, uncontrollable. It's a well-known fact that I'm a bit "type A" when it comes to... everything? So this is really hard. At least, today it is. Maybe a list will help?!
Things I don't have control over and therefore shouldn't worry about:
1. Grad school admission. Because apparently they have lost my GRE scores (which were sent in December) and the application deadline is in about a week and I don't know if I can get scores there in time but I have proof that they were sent and I'm not getting a reply quickly enough to do anything about anything until Monday.
1a. Grad school tuition and scholarship money and loans. Enough said. (Although it might help that I waited to fill out my fafsa until I knew I was a "displaced worker.")
2. Job openings. Right now there are about four that are realistic for me to apply for. I'm not counting the ones that say "Master's degree preferred" because I don't have one. I probably should not count the Wichita ones because they've announced new levels of budget cuts practically every day this week. So that leaves me about two.
3. Getting back the days I banked at the end of last year.
Things I do have control over:
1. The massive run-on sentences in my last list. Yes, they were purposeful.
2. The worry that I have when I realize that we didn't really save money this month (even though it's just because we paid for summer tuition for Brad) or last month (even though we bought plane tickets to Seattle and two trees)... actually, the worry I have when I think about money in general.
3. Applying for the jobs that are available, including the online school, and being incredibly impressive to those employers - well, at least I hope I'm impressive.
4. Being a great teacher and coach for the next five weeks.
5. Going to bed soon because sleep always helps. Right?
6. Lots of other things that I am too tired to list right now.
And I know I could. I think of that reality every single day. And I am grateful to be healthy and have a job/paycheck/insurance for the next few months and a supportive family and a fantastic husband.... and so on and so forth.
But this is your fair warning. You don't have to read it; I just need to get it out. After all, I'm not going to drive to your house and hogtie you to the computer chair (aside from the fact that I don't actually know what hogtying entails, I am not sure I have the funds to travel to everyone's spot in the world, though I would like to see each of you). I'll even throw a random picture of our "new" wind chimes from the farm in there to let you consider your options for a moment...
I have never liked roller coasters. They actually rank right underneath "caves" on the list of not-cool-vacation-ideas-that-my-family-seems-to-love. There's the whole motion sickness part of my world, evident right now in the fact that, every time I step off a track bus, I feel queasy. Plus, I have (along with my sisters, apparently) a fear of heights. But really, I don't like roller coasters because they are scary. Unpredictable. Uncontrollable.
My life has felt like that lately - unpredictable, uncontrollable. It's a well-known fact that I'm a bit "type A" when it comes to... everything? So this is really hard. At least, today it is. Maybe a list will help?!
Things I don't have control over and therefore shouldn't worry about:
1. Grad school admission. Because apparently they have lost my GRE scores (which were sent in December) and the application deadline is in about a week and I don't know if I can get scores there in time but I have proof that they were sent and I'm not getting a reply quickly enough to do anything about anything until Monday.
1a. Grad school tuition and scholarship money and loans. Enough said. (Although it might help that I waited to fill out my fafsa until I knew I was a "displaced worker.")
2. Job openings. Right now there are about four that are realistic for me to apply for. I'm not counting the ones that say "Master's degree preferred" because I don't have one. I probably should not count the Wichita ones because they've announced new levels of budget cuts practically every day this week. So that leaves me about two.
3. Getting back the days I banked at the end of last year.
Things I do have control over:
1. The massive run-on sentences in my last list. Yes, they were purposeful.
2. The worry that I have when I realize that we didn't really save money this month (even though it's just because we paid for summer tuition for Brad) or last month (even though we bought plane tickets to Seattle and two trees)... actually, the worry I have when I think about money in general.
3. Applying for the jobs that are available, including the online school, and being incredibly impressive to those employers - well, at least I hope I'm impressive.
4. Being a great teacher and coach for the next five weeks.
5. Going to bed soon because sleep always helps. Right?
6. Lots of other things that I am too tired to list right now.
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