sigh

Can I vent a bit? Be a downer for a while? Of course I can. It's my blog. 

(This post may be vague; if you really want specific details, feel free to ask privately. I, as always, reserve the right to withhold information, especially in such a public forum.)

February, thus far, has proved to be a tough month, which is a big part of the reason I haven't posted much. Not rough in the sense that anything overwhelmingly negative has happened. Rough in the "little things are adding up" sense, in the emotional sense. 

I'm frustrated with things that are beyond my control, that affect what is in my control. I work hard at everything I do, so when my hard work just doesn't seem to be enough, I feel lost and overwhelmed. And that's how I feel right now. Hard work just doesn't seem to be doing it, and I'm not sure what else to do.

I really want to be content, at the very least, whatever the circumstances. But when I just can't quite get there in certain parts of life, despite my best efforts, because of circumstances I can't control, what do I do?

Here before you now, see my hands are empty. God, fill me now, with you.